Some say ‘marriage is bliss’ while for some it is an imprisonment. But whatever the views may be, everyone marries at some stage of life or the other. Commitment, honesty and trust are foremost ingredients to make any marriage successful. And to top it all, if you really love your spouse, the relationship really blossoms. But at times, due to some misunderstanding or problems the tuning goes haywire and so does the bonding. To settle the marital discord is very important and that too at the very initial stage.

So as to settle the dispute between the couple, it is important to know the cause for it. Some of the regular reasons for dispute are finances (loan for vehicle or home, contribution in daily expenses etc), Children (schools, habits, careers), sexual intimacy (lack of coordination or affinity), household (management, routine chores), friends (being more friendly with opposite sex or hanging out with friends for more time),   habits (addiction to alcohol, smoking or any unhygienic or irritating habit), personal problems (ego clashes, superiority complex, adamant attitude), expectations (unsatisfied expectations about marriage and career), relatives (interference by in-laws). Marriages get disturbed because of these problems. But to settle the quarrels, it is important to go to the root cause and try to find a solution for bridging the gap between the two.

Tips to avoid disharmony

If the dispute is for finances or owing to money problem, the couple should sit down together and try to find out a way which is ideally suitable for both. During the early stages of marriage, many couples make exaggerated promises to each other. While settling the discord, all the speculations and expectations must be realistic and practical so that such problems do not arise again.  

Interaction and communication are the best modes of solving any dispute. Take small steps at first. Use mobile or mail as the communication medium if you are not on talking terms. Send photos of good moments together to each other to convey your feelings and show how you cherish the relationship.

Be open for allegations. If one of the spouses is angry over some issue, then it is natural that he/she has some background to get angry. Instead of being adamant, let your partner vent out feelings so that all is clear and open and the reason of animosity comes out in light.  Once the cause is out, it is never difficult to find solution.

Friends and nearing relatives should try to bring the couple closer and arrange for private date or meeting at a friend’s house. This can be kept as a surprise as well. Once the husband and wife see each other, there is bound to be some sort of conversation.

Contact marriage counselor, if the problem is too serious, and marriage is heading towards dead end. The couples can themselves take steps to get an appointment with the counselor so that their marriage is saved.

In marriages, where children are involved, marital discord should be settled as early as possible as it can severely affect the emotional stability of children.